Chapter 4: Mother

Three jet engines were screaming in protest at the treatment the big airliner was giving them, and Yumi didn't like it one little bit. She never had learned to like flying, and landing was always the worst part. Why couldn't they design these things to come down smoothly instead of jolting her all over and making the engines shriek like they were going to break in half? It didn't help that the pilot (as usual) bounced once on landing; two terror rides for the price of one. At least the long transcontinental flight was over.

"Welcome to Portland, Oregon. The local time is now 7:43 pm. We hoped you have enjoyed your flight on United Airlines. We know that you have your choice of airlines, and we appreciate your business. If, in the future, your plans should call for flying again, we hope you will once again choose to fly the friendly skies. Please stay seated until we have reached the terminal, when the captain will turn off the seat belt signs. Uniformed assistants will be available inside the terminal to those who need assistance making connections here in Portland. Again, we do apologize for our late arrival."

Great. Steve wasn't even expecting her, and now she was going to show up at his apartment late in the evening. Maybe after he'd gone to bed? Well, it might be interesting to see if he was alone.

Yumi had decided, almost on the spur of the moment, to come visit her son. She was worried about him, he and his new friend. To herself she only admitted being worried about the caliber of female he was so interested in. Along with that concern, unaddressed by Yumi, was the worry of losing her son's affection. Steve was very important to Yumi, and she didn't want to open up any distance between them over this Jenny person, no matter how things went.

Yumi was prepared to dislike Jenny intensely. As the plane came to a stop and the seatbelt light winked out, Yumi considered the possibilities for the millionth time. "I wonder if she bathes often enough? John the Baptist might be her hero. Yuck." (Yumi had actually purchased a Bible and a book of Mormon and read selected parts.)

"Or, possibly, she's the ascetic, pioneer woman type that seems to so typify early Mormon women" she thought to herself. "Probably as tough as leather, but hides it from Steve. Maybe she's demure like Mary, or obnoxious like Paul. Obey your husbands indeed! That's the last thing Steve needs, a humble wife. Oh, come on, let us get off this plane!"

Yumi found herself in a hurry.

After negotiating the never ending, glacially slow, incredibly disorganized construction projects at Portland Airport and picking up her rent-a-car (a Cadillac, natch), Yumi headed south on I-5 toward Corvallis. She had visited Steve a couple times before and knew how to get to his apartment. Settling in for the two hour drive, she began to think about possible scenarios for the visit. She only had three days, needing to be back in New York for a Sunday morning news show (she was a supporting aid for a DC Senator who was planning to discuss the congressional minority's goals for feminists over the next several years). In those three days she intended to size up this Jenny person and drive a wedge between her and Steve if, as she suspected, she didn't measure up. And if there was any talk of marriage, well, she'd make sure that got slowed down or forgotten entirely. Steve was far to young to be married, not even 30 yet. He'd only begun to explore the world, and couldn't possibly even know who he was yet, couldn't possibly have found himself. These kids could make the most dreadful mistakes if they weren't counseled well. What an idiot she'd been not to encourage him to get a job on the east coast closer to her and Fuchida.

After a while, she began to get a little nervous about the upcoming confrontation. "Maybe I'll like her after all, in which case there will be no problem. Maybe she won't like me though; naw, I can win her over in that case. But what if I really don't like her? Then we'll have problems, won't we. But Steve would never choose some chick over me, would he? He wouldn't sever ties with his mother, wouldn't continue a relationship that I made obvious was simply unacceptable? No, he won't. I'll see to that. We'll just have a little dinner together, start out talking about the weather on the east coast, and go from there. Have to make sure I cover the subjects of religion and politics; don't want her to get away without discussing those. How can I go about bringing that up?"

Mrs. Mitsunami continued going over her plans all the way to Corvallis.

Around 9:30 she pulled into the parking lot at Steve's apartment building. By this time she was calm, cool, collected. She knew just what to do... if she could find a place to park. Where was a visitor supposed to put a car here?! Sighing, she pulled back out onto the street and parked on the curb. Little cow town like this, what danger could the car be in anyway? Taking her purse, she walked over to the main entrance and buzzed Steve's rooms. He answered quickly.

"Hello? Who's there."

"Surprise Steve!"

"Mom? Is that you?"

"Yes, dear, now come down and help me get my bags in."

"Well, sure, sure I'll come down in just a second."

His voice had sounded surprised (as it should) but had no panic in it. Probably alone, which eliminated one of the many scenarios she'd worked out. She was finding, though, that she couldn't think about those plans now. Her son was coming down! It had been so long since she'd seen him. There he was!

"Hi Mom" he said, giving her a hug. His surprise and pleasure were both very genuine. "What are you doing here! Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

Turning towards the car, they began walking. "Well, I tried to call last night, but you were out late. What were you up to?"

Inwardly, Steve laughed. She didn't waste any time. Never had. "I was on a date, with Jenny. It went very, very well. How long can you stay?"

"Only three days Steve, I have to take off Saturday morning at the very latest, and I'd really like to get going Friday afternoon if possible. Now, what was it about last night that went so well?"

"Mom! Wait until we get back up to my room at least, OK? I'm going to be busy handling all of your luggage, I suspect. Did you have a good flight?"

She allowed that it was tolerable, as flying goes, reminding him of how much she hated the whole thing. Arriving at the trunk, Steve's fears were confirmed. Not wanting to make two loads, he became a baggage porter, performing incredible feats of balance and phlange strength. His mother carried her overnight bag and her purse, as well as the apartment keys. Walking across the parking lot wasn't so bad, but the stairs to his second floor apartment had never seemed so long before. He was glad to get in the door and get the bags dumped into the spare bedroom. Being an engineer did have some rewards; he had a two bedroom apartment, complete with two beds. Of course, he only had two sets of sheets, and he hustled to get the spare set put on the spare bed so that his mother would have a place to sleep.

"There, Mom, I think your set" he said, coming out of her bedroom. He found her looking at a snapshot of Jenny that he had taped to the cabinets over the phone. "Oh, yeah, that's a picture of her. What do you think?"

"I remember a time when I found a picture of a girl in your bedroom, in the sock drawer I think, and you were absolutely embarrassed to death to admit that it was your girlfriend."

"Hey, yeah, you're right, I remember that. I sure was embarrassed, really."

"As I recall, her name was Jenny as well" his mother said, looking at him. "Jenny Watanabe I think?"

"Yes, that was it. Best kisser in the eighth grade, and quite a coup for a seventh grader."

His mother smiled a wry little smile, and said "She was better looking than this Jenny, I think. But I suppose it might not be a particularly flattering picture."

Steve groaned inwardly. Was this going to be one of those visits? "Oh, it's not such a bad picture Mom, but I think the light might not be very good in that corner of the room. Here, I've got another over on the bookshelf." Going across the living room, he retrieved the picture, a group shot over a year old of the "pool gang". Jenny was stunning in the picture.

Even his mother had to agree when she came in, took the picture, and sat down on the couch to study it. "Yes, this is much clearer. I guess she does have a few points over your Junior High sweetheart at that. Tell me more about her."

"Mom, why are you here? Is this really just a spur of the moment thing?"

One problem with being close to your son; he gets to know you pretty well. "Not exactly; I've been planning it since that phone call a couple weeks ago. I tried to get your father out here too, but he had a last minute crisis to deal with on the street and couldn't get away, or at least wouldn't leave it. He can be pretty stubborn sometimes. But I am curious about this new girlfriend of yours, and I want to know more about her. So, I thought I'd come out for a visit, and today was the best time for it."

Steve smirked.

She continued as if she hadn't noticed. "From your description on the phone she sounds like a rare young woman indeed. And coming late as I did, I had half expected to find her here with you. She isn't working late, by chance, is she?"

"Don't you remember the questions I asked when I called? She's an old fashioned type Mom. I had hoped you could give me insight into her mindset, but now I'm not so sure. Did you purposely come here late to improve your chances of meeting her?" Given Jenny's world view, this seemed like an ineffective tactic for his mom to use.

"No, no, of course not. The plane was late leaving La Guardia and then we had to buck a head wind all the way from South Dakota on, so we were an hour and a half late. I'd have been here in time for dinner if I'd come as planned. And I called from the plane, but your answering machine isn't working, so I couldn't warn you I was coming."

"I don't have an answering machine." I have enough trouble with those at work, he said to himself.

"You don't? Well, maybe I'll get you one while I'm here. Dam inconvenient for me, you not having one."

How was it she could make the lack of a simple appliance seem like an insult? "Whatever. Anyway, to get back to your original line of inquisition, she isn't working late. She's at her duplex, where she lives."

"Oh. Are things not going well for you then?" Yumi couldn't keep the slight tone of hopefulness out of her voice.

"In fact, things are great."

"Yes, you did mention that before I guess. Well, what do you mean by great? How can they be going so well if you never see each other."

"We see each other. Yesterday we were together for 6 hours, and we had an absolutely wonderful date. We had been having some problems, which were my fault, but I think we've got a plan for dealing with them now. The plan is a little strange, but I think it represents our best shot. We're making progress."

"Progress? Progress towards what?"

"You know, towards a mature relationship, towards a steady relationship. She's a wonderful girl mom, you're going to love her." He found that he was becoming unaccountably nervous. "Can I get you something to eat or drink?"

"No thanks kid, and don't change the subject. My time is limited, so we have to make the best use of it we can."

"Well, I'm going to get something. Guess I'll have a coke."

"Fine, fine." She gazed back at the picture in her lap. "Now, what makes you think things are going so well?"

Spoit. Ice, need ice. Clink. Fizz. OK.

"Steve, what makes you think things are going so well" Yumi demanded again. "And what is this plan you mentioned. Doesn't sound particularly romantic."

He snorted. Might as well plunge in. Returning to the living room, he slumped into a chair opposite his mother. "Romance? Since when are you a romantic Mom? I can't ever remember you caring much about the subject. As I recall, you actively denied the whole concept."

"Well, it wasn't me I was worried about, it was this Jenny person. Old fashioned girls are always wallowing in romance."

"The world, a world you and Dad created by the way, doesn't really allow them to do that anymore, does it. Jenny has to grapple with 'reality' constantly, because it's unrelenting, it's everywhere. Just the way you like it."

His bitterness took her aback.

He continued. "But Jenny isn't some soft-headed marshmallow. She's very, very bright. You already know that she's a mathematician, but I don't suppose you realize that she stood very high in her graduating class from college. More than that, she has taken on an engineering job here at the Corvallis plant, for which she wasn't particularly well trained, and has done very well with it. Jenny has a logical, rational mind and knows how to be a disciplined thinker. It's a survival skill; all of us my age learn disciplined thinking or go off the deep end. There are no romantics in their twenties."

She remained silent for a moment. Steve had never talked to her this way before. Finally, she said "Steve, what are you talking about? All young people are romantics; they can't help it. They have no experience, which is needed before anyone can be really objective. Jenny has to be a romantic, or she wouldn't be so narrow minded. She should be with you now...."

Steve exploded. "Narrow! She isn't narrow minded at all. Now look, we aren't going to get anywhere with name calling. Tell me what you think you mean when you say she's narrow minded."

"All right, all right. Calm down. I don't know what has gotten in to you, Steve, but I don't like it. We used to be able to talk about anything, anything at all, and here you are getting all upset. Look, Mormon's are narrow minded by definition. Period. Almost all Christians are narrow minded, but Baptists, Mormons, and certain Catholics are the worst. Any woman that would allow herself to be connected with that church in any way has to be either foolish or romantic, both of which are narrow viewpoints. Now come on, admit it, she is narrow, isn't she. Why hasn't she moved in with you if she isn't? Too hidebound in her traditions? To restricted by her rules?" Yumi was quite convinced she'd made her point; sexual liberation was a key litmus test for her.

Steve was frustrated. This was ridiculous. It could take all night to deal with her last little speech adequately, and he didn't think he could do it well enough. Was Jenny narrow minded? But what three churches had his Mother listed as in the "hidebound" group? Maybe he had a solid point to make.

"Look, Mom, Jenny and I are going to church together next Sunday morning." Yumi was stunned, and her face showed it. Before she could say anything, he continued. "And it isn't to any of those churches you mentioned. We're going to a local Presbyterian church to hear what the preacher has to say about what is right, and what is wrong. Jenny thinks it will do our relationship a lot of good, and I'm willing to listen. If it doesn't, we'll move on from there. Anyway, none of that seems particularly narrow to me. She isn't demanding that I become a Mormon or anything, only that for our lives to grow together we need a common moral grounding. I don't see a problem with that; you and Dad had a common set of beliefs when you were young."

Now it was Yumi's turn to explode. "Steve! Didn't I teach you anything! Determining 'right and wrong' from a Christian perspective is the definition of narrow minded." She subsided a little, and looked down, pensive. "I'm very disappointed to hear that you are going to church with her, though I have to admit that I'm glad it is a Presbyterian church you'll be sitting in on rather than some of the others I read about. They support the National Abortion Rights Action League, ACT-UP, and have been very active in banning exclusive language in their services. Why they can't move beyond the Christian label is anyone's guess, but I suppose it has something to do with lingering narrowness. It doesn't seem to have any practical effect on them, so I guess I have to admit that she can't be completely closed minded if she's taking you there. I still say she has to be narrow to claim the title of Mormon." She looked back at her son. "What makes you think that she isn't just moving you along? You know, first Presbyterian, then Catholic, then Mormon?"

"I have no idea whether that's what she has in mind for me. But I have a brain, and I can make judgments on my own."

"Now, Steve, I know that you feel all grown up, living on your own and having your own job and everything, but really, I've seen a lot more than you have. I can help you avoid some terrible mistakes, if you'll just listen to me."

"Mom, I am listening, but you're not making any sense! Look, Mom, I know you love me and you are just trying to point out what you think is best for me. And I love you too. But you can't be so, so..." and he smiled, "... so narrow about Jenny. She's a fine girl, really, and you're going to love her as much as I do." He stopped short. There, he'd said it. "And, she, I think she loves me as well" he finished lamely.

Once again, Yumi found herself speechless. She was grateful to her inner strength that she had the wherewithal to come out on such short notice and look into this. Steve was getting himself in real trouble. Recovering her voice, she said "She what?"

Not profound, but it kept the conversation going.

"She loves me, Mom. And I love her."

"That's what I thought you said. Oh, Steve, how could you be such an idiot. What do you know of love? Aren't you aware that there is no such thing as selfless love, no such thing as altruism?"

"Mom, what I know of love I've learned from you." He paused to let that sink in for a minute, intending to go on.

Yumi interrupted. "Yes, well, I suppose. But you have to understand that, a mother's love, while genuinely felt, is partially biological and rooted in natural tendencies. It's real, but at the same time not selfless. The love between two people can never be selfless. Have you looked for what is in all this for Jenny? A husband, prime wage earner, and social status among her circle as being married rather than single."

"As I said Mom, what I really know of love I've learned from you. But Jenny has different ideas; she believes in Altruism, that selfless love is a reality. And I believe it now too, at least I think I do. I want to explore the idea, and I want to explore it with her. It isn't something I can explore with you; you, and your generation, are too rigid and narrow in your thinking on it."

"That is the second time you've called me narrow! How dare you! How dare you! What do you know of it? My generation. How can you call us narrow?! We broke all the rules, remember?"

"Yes, I'm beginning to see your generation as a group of social engineers who's empirical data was all gathered from destructive testing. But I'm not sure you came to all the right conclusions from the data you gathered, and I want to look again myself, or rather, with Jenny. Mother, I'm questioning what you've taught me. I think you are so proud of having destroyed the old, traditional way of looking at the world that you can't see where it might have been correct. You can't seem to admit to yourself that you might be wrong."

"Well, now I can see what this girl and her disinterested, unselfish love have done to you. They've separated you from me, a mother from her child. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" Her lower lip was quivering.

Steve could see that this wasn't getting anywhere. He said, quietly, "Look, Mom, I'm always going to love you. You and Dad have been far to good to me for me to ever reject you. If I find that I disagree with you about something it doesn't mean I'm never going to speak to you again or anything."

Recovering a bit, she said "Well, maybe, I suppose I'm getting a little too worked up about this. I'm sure this Jenny person is a very nice girl, and I do want to meet her while I'm out here. But I've had a long flight and I'm very tired. Maybe it would be a good time to go to bed, huh?"

"OK, Mom, I think you're probably right. Tomorrow I'll arrange for dinner with Jenny and we'll go to Michael's Landing together or something, OK? Actually, maybe Bomb's Away would be better", and he grinned a little.

Yumi was uncertain about the meaning of that grin, but she smiled back, kissed her son good night on the cheek, and went in to the bathroom to get ready for bed. She felt depressed, her close relationship with her son being damaged by radical right wing thoughts about love and monogamy and, for crying out loud, going to church! She'd have to do something about this.

But what? Too late to come up with anything brilliant now, since it was almost 3am on her body clock. Better to work on it tomorrow. Wonder what he meant with that militaristic "Bomb's Away" crack?