Chapter 6: Frustration

"What a moron!" Michelle yelled at the phone, then slammed it down in the receiver.

"What's up Mich?" her husband yawned from the couch. The Raiders were playing the Seahawks, and his attention was distracted. But it was a boring game. The Raiders didn't have a chance.

"None of your business. Just listen to the game. I've got to think." How could Steve do this? She'd asked him out again at work, and he'd said he would think about it. That was over a week and a half ago. And now, listening to her voice mail, she heard a message, a dam VOICE MAIL MESSAGE, telling her no, that he was trying to improve his relationship with Jenny, and that he wouldn't be seeing her intimately anymore, but that he still wanted to be friends. Why didn't he just send it email and be done with it?

It wasn't the delivery. It was the fact of it. Jenny, how could he choose Jenny over her? OK, so Jenny wasn't exactly a frog or anything, but she was such a prude! He might as well have chosen a statue over her. She felt sick to her stomach.

"I'm going out for a while. Don't wait up."

"Whatever" came the reply from the couch. "Love ya."

Yeah, right. She ran upstairs, changed in to a pair of tights and a soft, loose sweater, brushed out her hair, and put on makeup. No point going out on a pout if you were going to look like a hag in the process. Michelle was a rather short but perfectly proportioned blonde, with a healthy athletic build that gave her physical charm even when fully dressed. Looking at herself in the mirror, she was satisfied. More than a few men were going to notice her this evening. She'd have to move on and forget Steve, and this was part of the process.

Coming back down, she went out the front door of their 3,200 square foot house in the upper reaches of Timberhill and go into her '95 Mercedes. A great car for the proper entrance, but the payments were heck. Still, it was part of the whole package that gave meaning to her life, and what if it cost her $700/month? That was pretty cheap for meaning.

Meaning. What was the meaning of Steve putting so much effort into his medieval maiden? "What a moron!" she yelled again, to no one in particular. Her pretty face contorted in rage for a minute. How could he be so stupid? How would Michelle bear to meet Jenny at work again? She'd been playing the "I've got something you wish I didn't" game to the hilt with Jenny, and now it was going to backfire.

Well, what did it matter. She calmed down a bit. What did it matter? There were lots of other men in Corvallis looking for a good time, and she rarely lost out on men that she decided to have a good time with. Everyone has an off day, right? Even Einstein was wrong about something occasionally.

As she drove past the country club on the outskirts of her neighborhood, she was half tempted to simply pull over and go in for some unscheduled physical exercise. Might meet someone in there, someone new. Then again, maybe not. The guys who spent a lot of time in there were gay, and she didn't feel like playing that game today. Even if she found a bi, the chances of getting AIDS were astronomical and she just didn't want to deal with all that now. Besides, she'd just fixed herself up. No point in ruining a perfectly good 'do just on the off chance of finding some sport for the evening. Turning left, she drove toward town. Maybe spend some time down town? She snorted. Corvallis was the only city in America that had nothing like a mall anywhere near by. What had the company been thinking when it located the plant here? Still, it might be fun to hang out for a bit, shop a little, and it would take her mind off of things. She'd hit Zooeys, the best (really, the only decent) clothes shop in town and work on her winter wardrobe. Later she could hit the Starbucks coffee shop, and maybe read something she'd pick up at the Book Bin. Sounded good. She didn't have to have a man to have fun, after all. "Woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" she said to herself as she drove on down Walnut. Then she giggled. The old chestnut didn't say anything about how much more fun a man could be for a woman than a bicycle would be for a fish...

Steve liked bicycles. Now what made her think of that? That turkey wasn't going to haunt her! No way! She was going to forget him. Have to find a really good book to get lost in.

A little later she arrived downtown, and found a parking spot directly in front of the bookstore. Practicing her most dazzling smile on the four-eyes behind the counter, she asked "Could you please direct me to the fiction section?"

"Ah, yes, yes ma'am, I can. Right over there against the wall" he finally got out.

Probably remember that smile for a month, she thought smugly to herself. Fiction, fiction, oh, there it is. Now, what to read?

Clancy. Yuch. Why do men get into those books? Then she paused before moving on. "But... if I read them, maybe I could understand men better, improve my batting average?" she thought to herself. Michelle wasn't completely devoid of brains, and when she decided to go for something wasn't averse to preparation. Then she dismissed the idea. Not worth the effort, after all; her batting average was pretty high already, and the kind of guys that really go into those books were more trouble to seduce than they were worth.

Harlequin. Oh please. Though she'd read them all in Junior High, they were merely embarrassing now. Almost as bad as Danielle Steele. Then there was this new author, Florence King. That might be better, but I don't see anything by her here. Maybe...... the new book by Joan Collins? That looked interesting. No, no it had to be that new book on the American ambassador to France, what was the title? Sleeping To Success or something like that? Yes, yes, that had to be what she bought. She had the avid amateur's interest in the subject, after all. Everyone was talking about it, and she hadn't had time to read it yet. Maybe she could pick up a few tips. Ah, there it was. "Reflected Glory", a biography of Pamela Harriman by Sally Bedell Smith. She took it to the checkout counter, paid the bookish salesmen without a glance his way, and left him slightly depressed.

Now what? Coffee and a little reading, or... oh yeah, clothes, yes, she could use something new. Winter was coming on; maybe a new sweater, or a new coat? No time like the present. Entering Zooey's, the city's finest women's clothing store, she began looking around. Oh, that was cute. Steve would love that... ah, nuts. The heck with what he'd like. "I like it!" she said to herself, and took the blouse off the rack to try on. It fit, perfectly; being shaped just like a cover girl has its advantages, after all. It was just gauzy enough to be revealing, but not too revealing, except in direct sunlight. Not a problem in Corvallis in the winter. "OK, one blouse. You know, Randy will like that too. Been a while since I've spent any time with him" she mused. On to the sweaters. But wait... that scarf might do. No, no, wrong color. Made her hair look green.

"OK, let's see here, coats. Oh, this is nice."

"Hi Michelle!"

She swung around to find Angela smiling at her. Great, just what she needed. Saturday night, no date, and she has to run into Angela. Everyone will know now. "Oh, hi Angela, how are you! Find anything you like here?"

"Oh, yes, I found a couple sweaters, great price. Good time to be working up a winter wardrobe, you know. Say, what are you doing shopping here on a Saturday night? I thought you'd be up to something more exciting, like you usually are." Angela was many things, but coy was not one of them.

Michelle replied "Well, I have a free evening, so I'm just out messing around. I had something planned, but it didn't work out. Phillip is watching some football game or the other, and didn't want to do much else, so I decided to get out for a while. You are right, it is a good time to get a wardrobe ready for winter. I just found the most adorable blouse, want to see it?" She hoped this would change the subject.

"Yes! Oh it's cute. You are so lucky to be able to wear things like this, I just can't. My body is too lumpy to be running around in something so revealing. Besides, John wouldn't like it. He's so stuffy sometimes" she lamented. "But it will make your life more exciting, I'm sure." Angela stepped a little closer, and her voice dropped to a conspiratorial level. "So, tell me, any more luck with Steve?"

Dam. Why had she boasted to Angela, of all people, about her dalliance, and about her plans? She lied. "Who do you think this blouse if for? He's such an animal." And she growled a little.

Angela turned red and tittered. "Oh, Michelle, I wish I had your life to lead."

Smiling smugly, Michelle said "You could if you wanted to. It's just a choice, you know. John's not the only fish in the sea. But really, Angela, the store is going to close pretty soon and I've got to pick out a winter coat, my old one is so out of style I can't possibly be seen in it this Christmas. So, I'll see you at work, OK?"

"OK Michelle. See you." And she walked away toward the cashier's counter.

"Good riddance" Michelle said under her breath. What a bozo, and married to bonzo. They deserved each other. Turning, she walked back to where the coats were. She found a style she really liked, but when she discovered it was only $110 put it back. Everyone and their mother would be wearing that coat. Maybe this store wasn't the best place to look. Tomorrow she'd drive up to Portland and go to Eddie Bauer. She could find a great coat there, and she wouldn't have to look at herself coming and going all winter. Sounded like fun.

Zipping through the sweater rack, one caught her eye. Finding it to be cashmere and the price sufficiently exclusive, she took it and carried both items to the counter.

"Cash or card today ma'am?" the girl behind the counter asked cheerily.

"VISA card today, I guess" she replied. She watched a little apprehensively as the clerk checked her card. Michelle couldn't remember how much was left on the card's credit limit. She breathed a quiet sigh of relief when it cleared.

Her transaction completed, she headed toward the coffee shop and considered her options. The sun had just dipped below the horizon, and the evening was her own.

"Really is a nice blouse. Wonder how much effort I'll have to put into getting Randy's attention with that on?" She smirked. "Not much. Sachico is going to hate it. Naw, she never hates anything. Most unemotional woman I ever met. Wonder what she does for excitement. But Randy's boring, I can get him anytime I want. Still, I'm looking for a little solace here, after all. But why not go for the gold, for someone entirely new for a change? Hey! Bill, the golden-haired boy!"

She waiting for a walk signal on a busy downtown intersection.

"He would be a challenge. He and Cindy have been a number for so long... which means he must be getting slightly bored of her at least. Yes! Oh, this will be fun. He's got such a long body, and he's so fast. Cindy told me once that he's very excitable. Cindy's such a nice girl, I'm sure she'll understand, not like Jenny-poo." She giggled. "And if she doesn't, so what? Bill will come back to her, and she'll take him back, just like Jenny apparently has."

The light turned green, and she had a flash of inspiration. "Or maybe, Jenny hasn't! The voice mail didn't say anything about actually getting back together, just that he was going to try. Better and better. I might have two shots at this. I'll have to give Steve a call and find out. I've got to know now." She pulled her cell phone out of her purse and dialed, holding it to her ear while she walked. After dialing, she waited for the phone to ring at his apartment. Once, twice, answered.

"Steve?" she said.

"Michelle?" he answered.

"Yes! Hi! I was calling about the message you left. I'm so disappointed! We had such a nice time. Are you sure you want to just cut it off, just like that? I'd like to see more of you, not less." Might as well take the frontal assault. If Jenny had rejected him, he'd be low right about now. If not, he'd be invulnerable and only a strong attack would get his attention, creating a little chink in his armor to be exploited later when he came down off his high.

"No, Michelle, please don't remind me of our little affair. It was a mistake on my part, OK? I don't want to talk about it. Look, we can be friends, just not intimate friends, all right?"

"Well, if that's how you feel about it" she said in her best crestfallen voice. "I guess I'll survive. But if you change your mind, I'll be ready for you, OK?"

Why was she such a temptation?! Steve was getting angry with himself. "Look Michelle, it isn't going to happen. Jenny and I are making plans and doing stuff together. We'll be all right, and I don't want anything to get in the way again. Just leave it alone."

"Cool. We'll do it your way Steve. See you around." And she hung up. Hah! He'd been riled. No immediate hope of success, but maybe later. In the meantime, there was Bill.

"Wonder about the best way to approach an intellectual?" she mused as she crossed the street to the Starbucks store. "Probably the same way as all men. I'll think about it in here."

As she entered the coffee house several heads turned. Some belonged to friends, who she greeted profusely, but most belonged to strangers. Michelle was used to being the center of attention, had been since her high school cheerleading days, and she was positively glowing after getting her latte, chocolate dipped cookie, and a table near the window. She got the book out of her handbag and began reading how Ms Harriman had done it. Had she ever manipulated an intellectual? Maybe Michelle could too. Life is full of pleasant challenges, isn't it?