Chapter 7: Calvin

"This is so embarrassing. How did I talk myself into coming here? What can these people possibly know that will help Jenny and I? I'll never fit in here, though she might. I can't imagine us going through this every Sunday" Steve thought to himself. "Maybe I can just pretend that we wandered into the wrong church, get up, and leave...."

Jenny was nervous as well. This was only her second time in the small church, and she was questioning her sanity. Steve was obviously uncomfortable. Her time with his mother had been a disaster, and though he'd said afterwards to forget it, that his mom would come around, it still made her jumpy. Maybe she was pushing things forward too fast, like his mom had said. For his part, he was embarrassed by his mother's attitude towards his relationship with Jenny and more determined than ever to make a good solid effort at building something with her, even if it did mean looking into this God stuff.

He had come willingly to church, picking her up in plenty of time. They had decided to work into this gradually, and had skipped going to the adult study class which preceded the service. Maybe that was the mistake? It would have allowed them to meet people rather than just sitting next to them. As it was, the parishioners were polite enough, but of course the "odd man out" feeling was inevitable. It would have helped if Nancy and Stephen were here. Jenny felt right at this second that at work on Monday she would probably be rather cross to Nancy for being a backslider just when she needed her most.

Glancing over at Steve, she knew it was worse for him. He hadn't the foggiest idea what to expect or how to act, and she saw that he was uncomfortable, worried about making a social or, worse, religious faux paus. She squeezed his hand reassuringly, and he turned to her and smiled. They'd get through at least one service intact.

Looking around, Steve, who really was nervous, knew he was being silly. Nothing he saw was particularly threatening. The church was fairly simple inside. There were several indications of poor maintenance, though, from the thick weeds he'd noticed in the yard on the way in to the water stains on the high wooden ceiling. Then there was the ancient puce carpet. At MIT he'd been in several old structures, but he'd never been in one that was so poorly maintained. It made him curious about the commitment of these obviously upper middle class people to their church, to what they must surely see as God's work here on earth. It made him fairly certain that, if they did become Christians, this wouldn't be their long term church. How serious could these people be about the "Lord of the Universe" if they worshipped him in such a ramshackle structure? Still, Jenny had gushed over the pastor's probing sermons, and there was something real, something true about the building, something different than the plastic perfection he'd seen on the few seconds of TV evangelism he'd watched. Not everything had to be BMW perfect, he supposed.

The people, as Jenny had said, seemed to represent quite a cross section of ages, from babies to ancient matrons. His mother would have sniffed, he thought wryly. Not the right sort of building, and they didn't appear to be the right sort of people. Was it possible that his mother, the bomb throwing sixties radical, was a snob? Then he looked around again. What could he possibly have in common with them? Small boys squirmed between parents, and a cluster of young girls whispered and giggled a few pews ahead of her. Great. Then he noticed, seated in the very front row, his lab manager. Whoa. At least he knew someone here. Would there be any career advantage in coming to this church? But, then again, that probably wasn't the right sort of thing to think about when choosing one, was it? I mean, greed and love were on opposite poles, and he was seriously trying to chase love. Well, he'd have to say hello after the service, anyway. There seemed to be a few people his own age here, people he didn't know. They didn't look like the sort who played ultimate. None of them in particularly good condition.

Naw, it wasn't snobbery he decided. Just not his kind of people.

A very old woman, healthy and spry, came down the center aisle and took a seat next to Jenny. She seemed to remember Jenny from last week. After exchanging greetings, she began asking about Jenny's friend. He was so amused that he didn't even notice that he wasn't offended, finding that he enjoyed listening to the exchange.

They were interrupted by pastor Andersen, who as usual began the service with a series of announcements. The high school and junior high youth program, last call for something called "friendship dinners", small group bible studies, and the talent show (to be held this evening) were all announced.

Then there was organ music playing. Steve was interested; he'd never heard a real organ before.

The service began, and they took cues from the lay worship leader on when to stand, when to sing, when to speak, when to pray. For Steve, the liturgy was simply ritual, mechanically enacted merely for the sake of social convention. But Jenny found, once again, that she liked it and that it helped her worship. The first hymn was traditional. She was shocked to discover that Steve could sing, very well indeed, and that though he obviously didn't know the music he sight read it and by the third verse had it down. Hidden talent.

Steve smiled after the end of the hymn, leaned over and whispered "Great high school and college choir teachers. This music is kind of fun." The hymn, Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee, was even vaguely familiar, though he couldn't place it. The message carried by the hymn was of the joy of living in God's grace. Well, they came here to see what these people knew about that, and the hymn certainly held something for them.

Listening to the prayers of the people, he heard life from a different vantage point. These people were petitioning the Lord of the Universe to come to their aid. Fascinating. Why did they think He would ever pay attention to them? There were apparently many in the church with various infirmities, some concern for the country's political leadership, someone embarking on a long trip wanting protection, and an older Christian who needed a rejuvenation of his faith. A pretty motley, totally predictable collection of concerns. Why would God care? He found himself genuinely interested in finding out, dimly suspecting that it would have something to do with the love he had come to know so recently.

Jenny noticed his increased attentiveness, the reduction in focus on his own discomfort, and was glad. She prayed a quiet prayer of thanksgiving.

After a recitation of the Lord's prayer (which Steve remained silent through) and a brief anthem (very nicely done, if one likes that kind of thing), the offering plate was passed around. Steve, more out of concern for the grass than anything else, dropped in a $10 bill. Jenny watched carefully, wondering if he'd notice the irony in the next bit. The Doxology began playing, and as usual everyone in the congregation, without prompting, leapt to their feet in the most devoted manner. To the strains of "Praise God from whom all blessings flow .... the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost" the entire congregation respectfully watched the offering being brought up and laid on the altar. Steve saw nothing unusual in that. Most people worked hard for their money, and they were proud to give of their wealth to the Lord.

She was disappointed. Maybe it would take awhile for him to see the humor she saw.

Following a "request" to be seated the children were invited forward for a message. After much scrambling toward the front and then squirming for position on the steps, the children settled in to listen to Steve's boss' boss' boss, the lab manager, talk to them. He almost laughed aloud at the spectacle of this ultimate authority figure hunkered down among a bunch of little kids telling them a story. It was worth the price of admission. Jenny seemed to miss the obvious humor, eyeing him curiously. The story, actually, turned out to be rather good. He used a recent lunar eclipse as a demonstration of how we could get separated from God if we let worldly things come between us and the illumination of his wisdom and love. The children seemed to get some of it, then scampered (there was no other word for it) off to a room where they wouldn't have to sit still for whatever was coming next. Steve found himself reflecting on the story and liking what he'd heard.

The congregation noticeably settled back to receive instruction from the pastor. Steve didn't notice much, as he was lost in thought with the implications of what his lab manager had said. Why hadn't he ever heard this before?

Pastor Andersen saw, once again, those same faces with that same closed yet open expression. Scanning the crowd, he also noticed that the attractive young woman from last week was back, with a young man. He hesitated for the merest fraction of a second, feeling a sudden stab of urgency about his message. There was something important about these two, but he didn't know what.

"Shall we pray?" He lead the congregation through a prayer asking for God's blessing on what was to be said, that it might be spoken and interpreted as the Truth He intended for all to have. Silently, he added a brief addendum that his teaching would reach the hearts of the young couple.

"A reading from the New Testament, 2nd Timothy Chapter 3, verses 1-15."

"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Now as Jannes and Jambres resisted Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt minds, disapproved concerning the faith; but they will progress no further, for their folly will be manifest to all, as theirs also was. But you have carefully followed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, longsuffering, love, perseverance, persecutions, afflictions, which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra--what persecutions I endured. And out of them all the Lord delivered me. Yes, and all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus."

Steve was completely captivated by the reading. He'd have to look it up when he got home. After he bought a Bible, of course. He didn't quite know what to make of that bit about persecution and affliction, but the author of that old book surely understood what was happening today. But how could that be? He was quite confident that there had never been a time like his own in all of history.

Using this text as a basis, Mark launched into his sermon.

Jenny was, as before, deeply impressed. The words were delivered with such conviction, such confidence in their source. She looked over at Steve, and could see that he was impressed as well. These people and this man were prepared to tell what they knew of the God's Truth, and that was what they'd come to church for. A nagging doubt around betraying the church of her father raised up in her mind, but she quickly put it down. How much trouble could this place be? After they'd learned what the Presbyterians here had to say to them, they could always move up to the Latter Day Saints and learn the final Truths that they needed for a full understanding, right? In the meantime, this church would give them the basic founding that she and, even more, Steve lacked in understanding the Christian view of God and His love. She squeezed his hand again, and they smiled at each other.

The Reverend Andersen's sermon continued.

"So, St. Paul here states that the world will become corrupt. Now, he's done this before, but here he's being pretty specific about it. I want to go through the list again.

"Lovers of themselves. Know anyone like that? I mean, besides yourself?" (Small amount of laughter.) Aren't we told to look out for #1, to do unto others before they do unto you, to do something nice for myself because I'm worth it, to be powerful? Hmm? Now, a healthy amount of self respect is one thing. After all, Jesus tells us to love each other as we love ourselves. But to be self-lovers in the extreme makes us narcissistic. The nature of love is that it leads us to want to give of ourselves, sacrificially, for others, just because we care about them. The mother who walks her crying baby at 3am for the third straight night without remorse, the young man who spends everything for that perfect ring for his beloved, the father who waits up until his daughter is back from the date. Those are the kinds of things we do when we love, but being a lover of self keeps us focused on #1, and we can't really know love."

Steve swallowed, and was very sober. Maybe this motley crew could teach him a thing or two that would help him in stay headed in the new direction he'd chosen. Understanding why he was taking this course in life, why it was reasonable, should strengthen him when he was tempted to go back to his old way of living. When Michelle called. Shouldn't it? "Things that are easy to do, get done" he said to himself. Looking over at Jenny, he knew what love was about, and he knew he wanted to live in it. Jenny, glancing back, returned his smile.

Mark continued. "Lovers of money. Common enough. Reb-Tevye, the father in Fiddler on the Roof, once said 'If money is the world's curse, then may the Lord smite me with it. And may I never recover!' He wasn't kidding; Reb-Tevye knew what it meant to be poor. Notice that Paul doesn't say here that money in and of itself is a bad thing. But the love of it, the sacrifice of our lives for money, the sacrifice of our children's lives for money, that is a bad thing, that is evil. It's a perversion of affection, a form of idolatry we are warned to avoid. Because, you know, really this love of money is a love of power. We are not called to be empowered, and I think you should always be very cautious when you hear the language of power being used. Listen for the language of love."

"Boasters, proud, blasphemers. Well, we can skip over this. I mean, we may know someone like this, but none of us fit here, right? None of us are overly proud of ourselves, or our accomplishments, right? Of course right. But think real hard and see if you can't come up with a prideful man as an example. Pride is the original sin, the setting of ourselves above God, and Paul is warning us that towards the end of time it will be rampant."

"Disobedient to parents. Now, doesn't this seem a little odd? I mean, here's this list of evil activity from the last days, and the writer inserts this in the middle? It must have been a mistake, right? Or maybe it was added because the guy was trying to write late at night and was interrupted by some kid who wouldn't go to bed? No, I think not. God consistently takes parental responsibility for children very seriously, and that means there is a reciprocal charge to the children to listen to and obey their parents. Another way of looking at this can be summed up in the old saying, those who refuse to learn history are doomed to repeat it. We can really learn a lot from our parents, if we'll just listen. Much evil in the world would be avoided if we took that advice."

"Unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving......."

Jenny was still musing about parents. Hers were going to be unhappy when they found out where she'd been to church for the past couple Sundays. She was now a little uncomfortable. This church was telling her she should obey her parents, but she was pretty sure they'd also tell her that she should be coming to a "Christian" church rather than a Mormon ward. Maybe there were sometimes when it was right to disobey? She'd have to think about that, and maybe ask the pastor some time.

"Without self-control. Discipline is a dirty word in our society, today, is it not? Giving up something you like, delaying gratification, doing what needs to be done just because it is the right thing to do; aren't those all pretty out of date concepts? Can God really wish us to exercise self control?"

"Brutal. Little has to be said of this. Read your newspaper. Even here in happy valley we are getting drive by shootings."

"Despisers of good. What is good? What is right? Is there any such thing as unselfish love?"

He had Jenny and Steve's full attention again.

"Good and bad are concepts inextricably related to the question of who Jesus Christ is. If He's just a man, then the whole good/bad thing gets pretty muddled and you walk in relativistic, in a feminist darkness. Many in our world despise our faith in Jesus as an obsolete 'belief system'. But they offer no workable alternatives! Many have tried; Nietzsche, Marx, Sartre, Camus, Friedan. All failed. When the fool says in his heart that there is no God, he is also saying there is no ultimate good, no absolute standard to judge by. A very common foolishness in our age."

Well, that certainly established where this preacher understood goodness to derive from. Steve didn't understand the reference to "feminist darkness", though he was quite certain his mom wouldn't like it. Jenny knew that Emily wouldn't like it either, but she understood it perfectly. And she approved.

"Traitors, headstrong, haughty. Again, almost too common to comment on. Self willed people, people who look out for #1, tend to become this way almost by definition, don't they."

"Lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God. A different sort from most of what we've been talking about, I think this includes those who might vaguely allow for God's existence, power, and love but can't find the time to think about Him. After all, life is good, life is full, and we want to live it to the fullest. Like in the beer commercials, live for those moments when life is as good as it gets. This is one of the easiest traps for Christians to fall into, except for the next one, which is;"

"Having a form of godliness but denying its power. Do we live out our Christian faith? Do we act as though we are servants of the Most High? Do we really believe this stuff about undying love, timeless truth? Does it have any real power to affect our lives and the lives of those we come in contact with? I find it significant that Paul leaves this to last. He's talking to us here folks, and we should listen. Having a form of godliness, going to church every Sunday and choir practice on Thursday night, wearing a little fish symbol on the back of our cars isn't exactly proclaiming the power of God. Carrying the witness of his love into the world, illuminating the darkness with the Truth He has given us, those are ways we can uphold His power in our lives."

"Now how do we learn about what is good and what isn't? Listen again to what St. Paul had to say to Timothy; '...led away by various lusts, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth'. Here, in Corvallis Oregon, I say to you that this is the most common difficulty facing those who wish to come to a knowledge of God, of what is right. You need look no further than the learned scholars of the Jesus Seminar. We study so much, and we try to be so open minded, that we read right past the answer. Now, tolerance and an open mind are good things, but they must be kept in balance with knowledge of the Truth. It is possible to be so open minded that your brains fall out. Don't be that way! Cling to what is good, and flee evil."

Jenny and Steve were really excited by this point. The rest of pastor Andersen's sermon covered the specifics of how to recognize Truth, and the listened attentively. What a difference from their secular life this church was! Here they could learn and grow around those deeply important issues they had so recently embraced, love and truth.

"Let us pray."

Pastor Andersen finished the service, and the congregation sang the last hymn. Jenny and Steve were delighted. They had found what they were searching for. They wanted to deepen their understanding of love, truth, and God, and this church seemed like a good place to start.

They went forward to say hello to Steve's lab manager, who invited them to lunch after church with his family. After accepting, they filtered back out to the cookies and punch, stopping to shake hands with and introduce themselves to the pastor. In a few moments of conversation they outlined what they were interested in and how much they appreciated his talk. He was glad to hear of their interest, to get clued in on why they were in his congregation.

It had occurred to him before, of course, but he was reminded that Corvallis wasn't such a profitless mission field.